Starting with the end in mind: What kind of man would I like my son to be when he grows up?

My son must be…

(1) …adaptable (resilient)

·          He must be able to adapt in any situation with poise and grace.

·          He must try out new things.

·          He must accept mistakes with grace and move on.

·          He must be a good loser and a good winner.

·          He must be able to make a connection with people, talk to them and make them feel welcome in his conversation.

(2) …ambitious

·          He must strive to achieve his goals and aims in life.

·          He must get a tertiary education.

·          He must get a job that he enjoys (have a passion for), keep the job and do it to the best of his ability.

         

(3) …animal-lover

·          He must have a pet and love and care for him.

(4) …calm

·          He must make time for himself, preferably every day.

·          He must remain calm under pressure and in tough situations.

·          He must be mindful, i.e. pay attention to his thoughts and feelings without judging them.

(5) …compassionate (empathetic)

·          He must care about the less fortunate and willing to help them.

·          He must care about people who are ill or feel sad.

·          He must be able to just be there or to comfort people.

(6) …confident

·          He must follow his gut feeling and take chances.

(7) …content

·          He must be happy with who he is.

·          He must be happy with whatever he achieves.

·          Sometimes he must just go with the flow.

·          He must love and appreciate life.

(8) …courageous

·          He must ask for help when he needs it.

·          He must approach and conquer the unknown.

·          He must attack his fears head-on and overcome them.

·          He must be willing to learn new things all the time.

·          He must step up to the challenge.

·          He must be able to try something, to fail, and then to keep on trying.

(9) …curious

·          He must have a sense of curiosity and wonder about nature.

·          He must be curious about how things are put together.

·          He must be curious about what makes people tick.

(10) …dependable (reliable)

·          His family, friends and colleagues must be able to depend on him.

·          He must always be on time.

·          If he said he was going to do something, he must do it.

(11) …determined

·          He must be determined to achieve his goals, no matter how many times he fails.

(12) …diligent and self-reliant

·          He mustn’t expect other people to do things for him. He must try it himself, even if it is difficult.

·          He must work hard when he needs to.

(13) …a doer

·     He must be willing to learn new skills.

·     He must be able to make healthy food and look after himself.

·     He must be able to wash the dishes and clean the house.

·     He must be able to work in garden.

·     He must learn how to fix anything.

·     He must love reading books.

·     He must like doing outdoor activities or sports.

   

(14) …focused

·          He must have a goal (or goals) in live and aim towards that (follow his passion).

·          He has to focus to get a necessary job done, even if he doesn’t like the task.

(15) …grateful

·          He must realise that there are always people that have less than him: less clothes, less food, less money, less brain power, no home, etc.

·          He must be grateful for everything he already has.

·          He must show appreciation for people, animals and things.

·          Realise that the things that he has are a privilege, not a right.

(16) …honest

·          He must try to speak the truth as often as possible.

·          He must tell the truth faster, even if there will be negative consequences.

·          He must sleeps well because he has nothing (no lies) to worry about.

(17) …hopeful (optimistic)

·          He must see hope in a situation where others are negative.

·          He must be optimistic in the face of difficult obstacles.

·          He must keep cheerful disposition.

·          He must stay in South Africa and love his heritage.

·          He must love and speak Afrikaans.

(18) …humble

·          He must acknowledge and thank others for making a contribution to his achievements and personality.

(19) …kind

·               He must be kind to himself first.

·               He must be kind to other people and animals.

·               He must help and support of others where possible.

·               He must listen to and empathize with other people

(20) …loved

·               He must have people (family and friends) in his life that loves and supports him.

·               He must know how important it is to spend time with the people in your life.

(21) …patient

·          He must let other people try things for themselves. Don’t always take over.

·          He must time-out himself when he feels angry.

·          He must keep to the speed limit when driving.

(22) …perseverant

·          He must keep going, even when it gets tough.

·          He must finish what he has started.

(23) …pro-active

·          No-one is going to do it for him.

·          He must create opportunities for himself.

·          He must set up an action plan and follow through.

(24) …respectful

·          He must have good manners.

·          He must always thank people for everything.

·          He must always greet people.

·          He must always greet teachers with respect.

·          He must let women, older people, sick people and especially pregnant women walk first or stand up so that they can sit down.

·          He must help people carry their things.

·          He must open the door for other people.

·          He must take friends’ and other people’s feelings into account when talking to them.

·          He must be sensitive towards the needs (especially emotional) of girls.

·          He must never say negative things about his friends and family. He must have their backs.

·          He must do unto others as he would have done unto himself.

·          He must respect other people’s quiet times.

·          He must give other people a gap to drive when there is a traffic jam.

(25) …responsible

·          He must take responsibility for his actions

·          He must take responsibility for what he said.

·          He must complete tasks to help around the house (pull his weight).

·          He must always drive safely.

·          He must be able to budget.

(26) …self-disciplined

·          He must be able to do things for himself, without people reminding him the whole time.

·          He must manage his time well (when needed).

·          He must listen, absorb, think and then act.

·          He must go for medical check-ups and realise that his health are more important than other things.

·          He must leave things that he wants to spend money on to buy things that he really needs or to provide for the future. (sacrifice)

·          He must stay balanced.

·          He must eat healthily and eat some unhealthy things sometimes but he mustn’t overdo it.

·          He must think of your body (health). Drink little alcohol and don’t smoke or use drugs. That includes medication. Only use when really necessary. Avoid stuff like chips and gas cool drinks.

(27) …team player

·     He must do his best but also give others a chance to do their best.

·     He must help people in the team when they need it.

·     His team members must be able to depend on him.

·     As a leader he must take the opinions of the team into consideration.

·     As a leader he must make a choice in the end, even if it is hard.

·     He must make the right choice, rather than the easy choice.

·     He must know the strengths and weaknesses of himself and all his team members.

·     He must be a good leader and a good follower.

(28) …trusting

·          He must keep on believing in the good of other people.